Assuming the Best

I've been one of Michael Brown's fans since I first read his groundbreaking book,  The Presence Process, a book I recommend to anyone who is looking for a way into the present moment. I can't begin to list the wisdom that Michael shares in his books, blog, and other writings, but I can tell you that his work has changed my life in extraordinary ways, especially when it comes to coping with adversity and difficult times.  One of the recurring themes in Michael's writing is reminding us that we are responsible for the quality of our life experiences. This means that we are no longer victims of our circumstances, but that we have a choice about how much drama we allow into our lives, whether we react to various people and situations or respond to them with insight and compassion.  This one fact has had a profound influence on my life as it finally put me in the driver's seat and, after several months of practice, allowed me to remove the fear and negativity that previously clouded my thinking. 

By keeping this one fact in mind, I moved away from being a victim of circumstances, which can include huge events like being given up for adoption and the death of a close friend, or the minor annoyances that clutter our enjoyment and cloud our experiences. If another driver cut me off or took my parking space, did the quality of my life improve when I muttered "asshole" under my breath as I flipped the guy off before speeding off? Does it serve me to always think the worst when my son is thirty minutes late? Does the quality of my life improve when I use sarcasm and blame or is it better when I speak with respect and understanding, no matter what?  Is my life better or worse when I worry?  In the scheme of things does what I wear, the type of car I drive, or the amount of money I have really matter? This shift in my thinking has helped me to heal my wounded inner child, who realized that she doesn't need to hold on to the past beliefs, memories, and experiences that no longer served her...that like balloons, she could release them into the atmosphere and watch them drift away out of site. It enabled me to write a book without constantly criticizing my work or judging my value and worth as a human being.  It enables me to get through what others might view as difficult, nearly impossible times. Whether the sun is shining or rain is coming down in blinding torrents, moment by moment, I am entirely responsible for the quality of my life's experience. And whatever the circumstances, my choice is a series of experiences founded in love, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, peace, and joy.    

I don't expect everyone who reads this blog post to run out and buy a copy of The Presence Process, but for those of you interested in developing a lifestyle that re-frames the negative into the positive, it's an excellent place to begin.